The Self-Hating Blogger

This is the time of the year for lists - for newspaper and magazine thumb-sucking of high order and long tradition, recycling news into trends and reviews and lists and lists. Lo and behold, the hottest word of the year, according to the denizens of the dusty back offices and rotting cubicle warrens of Mirriam-Webster, is "blog."

Which means, of course, that blogs are yesterday's news. Dead. Unbreathing. Anachronistic folly of the followers. Mere digital entrails. We're talking lonely churchyard on the hill where Michael Fury lay buried dead. The crooked crosses and headstones, the spears of the little gate, the barren thorns, the whole deal. The Dead. Another trendline I've followed to the downward side of the peak.

Oh the celebrations are rife, of course. The bloggers - the three million as they say - are smooching under the mistletoe of media misunderstanding. They changed the world in 2004. The bloggers were major forces in the election. They retired poor old Dan Rather. They're clever. They're changing Iraq for the better. The world is watching. Bloggers will 'break news.' The newsmagazines are breathless.

In the words of St. Nick - who is doing wonders for my Amex bill this time of year - ho, ho, freaking ho. Humbug, I say. Are there no prisons? No work-houses?

It's simple, fellas. The most-heavily trod bloggers write about blogs. If you comment on blogs, you're in. (Just like back in the day, when Websites covered Websites). Bloggers blogging blogs - ie, bloggers blogging off. Then there are the sex blogs (covered in this week's NYT magazine), clearly related. The political blogs. And everything else.

Look, we've got personal journals. We've got trade publications.  We've got news indexes. We have opinion and nuanced commentaries and professional writers. But blogs? Dead. Blogs are Websites, folks. The software has made it easier. Now let's fill out the death certificate and move on. And no more blogging about blogs.

And so I'm announcing my retirement as a blogger. This is my last blog post. Thanks for the memories. Blogging audiences are the greatest audiences in the world.

At least until tomorrow - or the next day.

No more, damn you! I told you there'd be no more....what the hell did you expect?

Comments

[Joe Gandelman]

Of course, I know you're joking about quitting. You have one of the highest quality weblogs around.

And wouldn't you miss feedback from readers? I get lots of suggestions from mine (but I have not been able to shove my computer up there).

Actually, there are some issues now about the apparent change some blogs are feeling after the elections (I will fall into the trap you mention above by probably doing a post on that soon).

[Steve-o]

Oh, please. This is like the #2 guy in TMG threatening to leave the band before every single performance. No one should pay any attention to him. No one should listen to you, either. Ambivalence and self-loathing have replaced irony as the as the m.o.'s of late-term baby boomers...realization that we are not the men our fathers were or young, potent hipsters like those who are following us (although they'll get theirs...just wait).

[Jim Tamarak]

Gee, Steve, that's a nice slap at two people who do blogs. Perhaps you should apply your (bargain baseman) psyhcoanalysis to yourself; it doesn't sound like these two guys are pining over the fathers or feeling intimidated by the upcoming generations. You must stop buying books on psychology at the 99 cent store. On the other hands, you'll have to move your lips more if you read some more complicated ones.

[Steve-o]

Nice. Now I'm a punching bag for someone who doesn't know the difference between "bargain baseman" (whatever the hell that is) and "bargain basement," and who thinks "psychoanalysis" is spelled "psyhcoanalysis." New depths of self-loathing for ol' Steve-o.

Gee, Jim - why not drink a cup of holiday cheer and read between the lines? (In case you're too busy fighting the last minute crowds at the 99-cents store, allow me to spell it out for you in one terse sentence: Watson should get up off his sorry, middle-aged butt and get back to doing what he does best: bloggin.')

[Jim Tamarak]

Ah, one of these people who will seize on a typo and likes to hurl insults. I won't do that -- I won't say your flaming Tom Watson and the other blogger suggests your IQ is one 90 numbers short of the 99 cent store where you buy your books. Its truly too bad you couldn't read what Watson said and react to it with ideas instead of insulting him. You could have made a better point and made it more convincing by focusing on ideas. And since I have a life I won't read your responses anymore because you're one of these folks who thrive on screaming in your comments and attacking people. (I will leave that to Watson so suffer through your reply)
Of course, as I sign off forever on this point I will PROMISE you I will NEVER make any more typos, even though I think you are a mrynmw Darn! I did it again!
(PS: Go online and see if Scholastic publications that does the books for elementary schools has better psychology books for you. They may cost you more, but if you count your toes in addition to the fingers you normally use to count you CAN come up with a number).

Watson made a good point; so did the other blogger. They didn't DESERVE to be attacked so, yes, Steve-O deserves new depths of self-loathing -- and self-examination when he leaves comments. Ideas can change minds; insults close them. I'll post this and get Steve-o out of my mind forever.

[Steve-o]

God bless us, everyone!

[Tom K]

Tom stepping down reminds me of Jim Brown leaving in his prime. I just hope your movie career works out better (it wouldn't be hard).

[Ralph]

Tom,

Come on. Quitting your blog is like, so old. I did that back in June. Please, I know that I've been a huge influence in your life but I don't want to be responsible. Perhaps you need a break like billmon or something. Anyway, who ever cares too much about the media gazing at it's bellybutton derserves to be destroyed by tiny ants who nibble at the flesh. The internet revolution has just begun and people have attention deficit disorder about everything - especially if it's written about ad nausium. It's all an illusion, like the so-called death of vinyl.

[Ralph]

It's also a bit like suddenly disliking a favorite band because they've become too popular.

[Joe Gandelman]

I loved Tom's blog (which is why I have a blogad on it). I really hope he reconsiders. This site has some solid stuff, well-thought out and well-done.

[Steve-o]

Five days, now. He may be serious, folks.

[Tom W.]

C'mon - you guys didn't really think I was qutting, did you? Just a reaction to the wave of blog self-satisfaction sweeping the Net - the "we're changing everything" crowd - that drove me to brief silence. That and an ihuman year-end workload.

[Steve-o]

An "ihuman" workload, Tom? Spending a little too much quality time with the "ipod," from this poster's perspective.